Longing

[Mike Parr]

Well, as Im getting back into this here is one for critique. Fire away

[Josh Bear]

Re: Longing

Hi

this caught my eye as it is something that I have never tried. I think to make me come back time and time again the picture needs to show more of the expression especially the eyes.

The B&W and the looking out of the window help express the theme of the picture but it is not compelling without seeing the eyes (IMHO).

Best Regards

Josh

[Autumn]

Re: Longing

I am not very good on this sort of thing, but I have to ask, was it a grab shot, or did this young man pose for you?

If it is the latter, then I would have had him sitting on something to bring him higher into the window frame.

As it stands, the window catch is cutting across his mouth and he is much too low in the picture.

I also think the window is too bright.

Even if you cropped some from the top of the photo and darkened the window it's not really going to have the effect I think you are hoping for.

I think it is a good title and suits the picture and the walls also suit the melancholy of the whole scene.

I hope I am not being too negative.

Would it be possible to try the shot again?

[Gina]

Re: Longing

Hi Mike,

I understand why you have named this 'Longing', but as portraiture there are things that don't work for me. Firstly, the height of the model and window catch as Audrey pointed out are taking the focus away from the subject. I also agree about the eyes but for this kind of shot it doesn't really matter so much.

As you haven't mentioned the circumstances around taking the photo, it's difficult to offer you much except for what's already been said but perhaps a wide shot of the subject sitting or standing at the window may portray what you set out to achieve, rather than just the head shot.

[Ian]

Re: Longing

I think this shot could be really good as part of a series that document the scenario. On its own, I think the critique of the others here is valid. A really good effort though - really ambitious

Ian

[Patrick]

Re: Longing

Well, as Im getting back into this here is one for critique. Fire away

I would crop the bottom and side behind the models head bringing the head nearer to the bottom right corner.
As to the eyes, to say what the picture is attempting to say showing the eyes is not possible, the angle would be all wrong.

I like very much the feel the lighting gives, the idea and in general the composition. Slightly more thought could have been given to the composition to help small details, but overall a fine B/W picture IMO.
The elaborate framing spoils it for me, its a documentary type picture the plainer the better, just a plain black line. Let the image do the talking.

Patrick

[ash]

Re: Longing

Im not really getting the vibe of this picture, I don't like posting critique when I have nothing good to say, and usually avoid posting feedback when its a picture I really dont like, but if you dont post your opinion bad or good the poster-photographer does not get true honest feedback!
The whole picture feels a little awkward, the natural light through a window onto a person's face can be very effective, but I feel you have not shown enough of the face and the view through the window is not the best, on a shot like this I would expose for the face only.
Ash.

[Patrick]

Re: Longing

Im not really getting the vibe of this picture, I don't like posting critique when I have nothing good to say, and usually avoid posting feedback when its a picture I really dont like, but if you dont post your opinion bad or good the poster-photographer does not get true honest feedback!

Ash.

This is what in my opinion is lacking on the forum, proper critique. Almost every one wants to praise but not crititise.
Constructive comment is by fare more viable than "Great Picture" with no reasons why.
All images however good have weak points and all pictures however poor have good points.
A good critique will start by talking how the picture in the opinion of the critic could be improved, and finish with the good points of the image.
Not forgetting the emotional power of a picture.
The author can then defend His/Her picture giving their reasons for its presentation and disagree, or accept comments conceding to suggested improvements.

We all like praise but more will be learned from criticism providing it is given and received in good spirit, and accepting everything is subjective. We don't all like the same things and can and do disagree. If we all did like the same, what a boring old world we would live in.

Patrick