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  • Exams

    Came across this on the net - it's a chuckle



    21-08-2009, 3:55 PM #1
    Piggles12345
    MoneySaving Stalwart



    Join Date: Apr 2008
    Post Count: 605
    Thanked 386 Times in 203 Posts 25 Best Exam Blunders

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    We all have to fail sometimes. But there's something glorious about
    failing with style.

    Some great examples of exam answers from the most clueless - and
    inventive - of students. Some are very nearly right ("What happens to
    your body when taking a breath? Your chest gets bigger"), but some are
    very wrong indeed (Is the moon or the sun more important? The moon gives
    us sight at night when we need it. The sun only provides light in the
    day when we don't. Therefore the moon is more important). Laugh...and
    weep for the state of education!

    1) _Classical Studies_
    Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
    Answer: Learning to speak Latin

    2) _Biology_
    Question: What is a fibula?
    Answer: A little lie

    3) _General Studies_
    Question: Jeff has been asked to collect data about the amount of
    television his friends watch. Think of an appropriate question he could
    ask them.
    Answer: How much TV do you watch?

    4) _Classical Studies_
    Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
    Answer: Suspicious ones

    5) _Biology_
    Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
    Answer: Early death

    6) _Geography_
    Question: What are the Pyramids?
    Answer: The Pyramids are a large mountain range which splits France and
    Spain

    7) _Biology_
    Question: What is a plasmid?
    Answer: A high definition television

    _English_
    Question: In Pride and Prejudice, at what moment does Elizabeth Bennet
    realise her true feelings for Mr Darcy?
    Answer: When she sees him coming out of the lake.

    9) _Geography_
    Question: What do we call a person forced to leave their home perhaps by
    a natural disaster or war, without having another home to go to.
    Answer: Homeless

    10) _Religious Studies_
    Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
    Answer: Monotony

    11) _Biology_
    Question: In the Hawaiian Islands, there are around 500 different
    species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this
    Answer: There are approximately 500 varieties of fruit

    12) _Physics_
    Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels
    Answer: Fire

    13) _Geography_
    Question: Define the term "intensive farming".
    Answer: It is when a farmer never has a day off.

    14) _Maths_
    Question: Change 7/8 to a decimal
    Answer: 7.8

    15) _Geography_
    Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
    Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

    16) _General Studies_
    Question: Redundancy is often an unpleasant and unexpected event in
    someone's life. Give two examples of unexpected life events.
    Answer: 1) death 2) Reincarnation

    17) _History_
    Question: What was introduced in the Children's Charter of 1908?
    Answer: Children

    1 _Business Studies
    _Question_:_ Explain the word "wholesaler".
    Answer: Someone who sells you whole items - eg, a whole cake

    19) _Geography
    _Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
    Answer: Malaria

    20) _Geography_
    Question:What artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red
    Seas?
    Answer: The Sewage Canal

    21) _Geography_
    Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
    Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

    22) _Maths_
    Question: Expand 2 (x + y)
    Answer: 2 ( x + y )
    2 ( x + y )
    2 ( x + y )

    23) _Business Studies_
    Question: Assess Fashion House pls's choice to locate its factory near
    Birmingham. Is Birmingham the right location for this type of business?
    Answer: No. People from Birmingham aren't very fashionable.

    24) _History_
    Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
    Answer: At the bottom.

    25) _History_
    Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
    Answer: Unusual names.

  • #2
    Re: Exams

    I like that kind of joke:

    How hot is it in Hell ?
    (Maybe a true story...)

    A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate
    students. It had one question:

    "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all religious people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities.

    #1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    #2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by my girl friend "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

    The student got the only A.

    Roger

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    • #3
      Re: Exams

      Oh dear, oh dear I bet that most of those were for real too! Thanks for the chuckle Gez

      jo

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