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  • Joke

    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote New Zealand pasture when
    suddenly a brand-new BMW 535i advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The
    driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses and
    YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly
    how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"


    The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
    peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie
    parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his
    Telecom Datacard . He surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls
    up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location
    which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
    ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in
    Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
    Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
    image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
    database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of
    complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Telecom
    Harrier and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints
    out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
    printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586
    sheep."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
    shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
    amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
    what your business is, will you give back my animal?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a consultant." says the shepherd.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even
    though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew;
    to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my business.
    Now give me back my dog".
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/petebphotos/

  • #2
    Re: Joke

    Originally posted by peter View Post
    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote New Zealand pasture when
    suddenly a brand-new BMW 535i advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The
    driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses and
    YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly
    how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"


    The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
    peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie
    parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his
    Telecom Datacard . He surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls
    up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location
    which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
    ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in
    Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
    Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
    image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
    database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of
    complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Telecom
    Harrier and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints
    out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
    printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586
    sheep."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
    shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
    amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
    what your business is, will you give back my animal?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a consultant." says the shepherd.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even
    though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew;
    to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my business.
    Now give me back my dog".
    It's a new version of joke that I have seen over the years - well done though!

    A good one from the Radio 4 'I haven't a clue' show the other day:

    Definition of 'balderdash' - a rapidly receding hairline!

    Ian
    Founder/editor
    Digital Photography Now (DPNow.com)
    Twitter: www.twitter.com/ian_burley
    Flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/dpnow/
    Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/ianburley/

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Joke

      Great joke...

      ...and a clean one to boot

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Joke

        Ah yes, it is an old joke. I would expect though in this new remake the second bet placed by the shepard to be on the consultant's BMW. It would be fantastic for a consultant to walk away with a dog and for a shepard herding his flock with a BMW!


        Regards

        George

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Joke

          Originally posted by Archangel View Post
          Ah yes, it is an old joke. I would expect though in this new remake the second bet placed by the shepard to be on the consultant's BMW. It would be fantastic for a consultant to walk away with a dog and for a shepard herding his flock with a BMW!


          Regards

          George
          Interesting idea for a twist, but the reality is that a good sheepdog is far more valuable to a shepherd than a car..........particularly if that car is a BMW 535i, which has no ground clearance, no 4WD and critically, an inability to decipher whistle commands and control a stubborn flock...

          On the other hand, the consultant would benefit hugely from the ownership of a well-trained, loyal sheepdog. For a start, he'd actually have to use his legs occasionally and secondly (and most importantly), there'd be one less BMW-driver on the roads...

          Comment

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