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  • Being British

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
    Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
    Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
    shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign. Oh
    and...... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than
    an ambulance.


    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
    the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
    buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
    a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
    the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
    skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION...


    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.


    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    accidents.


    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
    of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.


    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
    Scalextric cars.

    and finally.........


    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet.



    Audrey

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/autumn36/

  • #2
    Re: Being British

    Hi Autumn,
    I always enjoy British sense of humors.
    Some of them are translated into our language and I have some of those books I bought a few decades ago.

    BTW it seems you have interesting statistics. - Is it real or another humor?
    - anyway enjoyable. I now learned that I have been very lucky that I'm still alive even after repeated tongue tests of 9V batteries. ... I happened to have a new one on my desk and .... did it once more. When I was a kid, they often told me that it destroys your sense of taste.
    yoshi

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Being British

      Originally posted by yoshi View Post
      Hi Autumn,
      I always enjoy British sense of humors.
      Some of them are translated into our language and I have some of those books I bought a few decades ago.

      BTW it seems you have interesting statistics. - Is it real or another humor?
      - anyway enjoyable. I now learned that I have been very lucky that I'm still alive even after repeated tongue tests of 9V batteries. ... I happened to have a new one on my desk and .... did it once more. When I was a kid, they often told me that it destroys your sense of taste.
      yoshi
      Hey Yoshi,

      It's funny, but it seems to me that architypical Britishness prevails today, despite the fact that we're made up of many different cultures and religions. Our quirky, sometimes eccentric traditions and daily routines continue to baffle and amuse those from abroad, but our humour and wit is the British attribute of which I'm most proud

      Do you get our TV shows - past or present - in Japan? Over here, we get to see some Japanese TV programs, although they tend to be those in which the contestants are forced to do terrible things to themselves in order to amuse the audience . Japanese films however are popular and enjoy something of a cult following here in the UK.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Being British

        Originally posted by Autumn View Post
        Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
        Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
        Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
        shows on a Japanese TV.

        And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign. Oh
        and...... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than
        an ambulance.


        Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
        the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
        buy cigarettes at the front.

        Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
        a DIET coke.

        Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
        the counters.

        Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
        drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

        Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
        have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
        talk to in the first place.

        Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
        skating rink.

        NOT TO MENTION...


        3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

        142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

        58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
        screwdrivers.

        31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
        fairy lights were plugged in.

        19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
        decorations were chocolate.


        British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
        accidents.


        101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
        of the soles of their feet.

        18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
        cigarette in their mouth.


        A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
        opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

        5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
        Scalextric cars.

        and finally.........


        In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
        toilet.



        Funnily enough, this little ditty is done for just about every country, except obviously the region name is changed.
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Being British

          [quote=Bearface;6600]Hey Yoshi,

          Do you get our TV shows - past or present - in Japan?

          I went on a nostalgia trip a few months back after talking to my Dad about some of the old comedy radios shows he listened to when I was a kid. I spent half an hour Googling to see if I could buy some for him on CD and came across a site that had every Round The Horne, Goon Show and I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again recordings ever made - all in mp3 and available for free download!! The fact that it was a Japanese site did amuse me somewhat - didn't think that brand of non-visual humour would travel that well!
          Stuart R
          https://www.flickr.com/photos/fred-canon/

          Life is an incurable disease with a 100% mortality rate

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Being British

            Originally posted by Bearface View Post
            Hey Yoshi,

            It's funny, but it seems to me that architypical Britishness prevails today, despite the fact that we're made up of many different cultures and religions. Our quirky, sometimes eccentric traditions and daily routines continue to baffle and amuse those from abroad, but our humour and wit is the British attribute of which I'm most proud

            Do you get our TV shows - past or present - in Japan? Over here, we get to see some Japanese TV programs, although they tend to be those in which the contestants are forced to do terrible things to themselves in order to amuse the audience . Japanese films however are popular and enjoy something of a cult following here in the UK.
            Hi Bearface, I'm not an enthusiastic TV viewer (tho I'm an enthusiastic DPNow viewer ) but I often find BBC TV programs on our NHK (a similar organization to BBC). Many of them are related to natural sciences like dinosaurs which I enjoyed a lot. Their computer graphics are just excellent.

            Britain is quite famous (at least in Japan) for its superb humors and wits for long decades. British humors are logical so they can be translated IMHO.
            Ours relied more on feelings/passions/or whatever so not that easy to translate, I think.

            About the Japanese cult - Is it "Ring"? I did not watch Spielberg's film but read books and found them interesting.

            yoshi

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Being British

              oh how true are these word especialy the top half

              Comment

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